The Dangers that we Seek
by Layna Remi
Summary: My first Chicago PD fanfic! When a drug gang kills three woman the team is on the case but could it lead to the Detectives of the intelligence unit to lose one of their own? Read and Review
1. A new case

So I have just gotten into Chicago PD and I love it! I also love the partnership of Erin and Jay, they are perfect and I hope that this story does some justice to the hopes of you the reader. I am not perfect so please excuse my grammatical mistakes. Please Read and Review, I love to have the feedback so again; leave comments. Love Layna.

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The team sat in the bullpen filling out the paperwork from their latest case; a man had kidnapped the daughter of a high power attorney. It had been a long case but they had gotten the girl back to her father unharmed and that was all that mattered to them. Jay looked over at Erin who focused solely on her paperwork hoping she could finish it so she could make it on her date with Kelly. Did it bother Jay that Erin was with Severide, of course but he knew that he could never have Erin, it was not only against the rules but also she was his best friend and he could not mess that up because he couldn't live in a world where she wouldn't talk to him.

She scribbled away all while the other detectives glanced at her, it was something they could not avoid with her battle wound. It had happened quickly and Jay knew it was practically his fault, he should have been right there but instead he had stopped to look down a hall. It was with great regret that he had split up from her from what seemed to be point two seconds before he heard her cry out. He had rushed back in time to see her fall and her gun to go flying but he was able to shoot the perp before he fired at Erin. The result was a large bruise on her cheek and as soon as she looked up from her work, she watched as all of them quickly averting their eyes back to their desks.

"Okay, listen I am fine, it is going to go away," She said slightly annoyed with the attention.

"What are you going to tell Severide?" Ruzek asked in a joking tone this got him a eye roll from her.

"I will tell him that I got it working a case, you do realize he knows what I do for a living right?"

"Yeah but I mean come on that takes up half your face," Dawson added in.

"Gee thanks for the confidence booster there Antonio." She scoffed, She gave an annoyed smile and looked to Jay who looked down at her paperwork, that was when she could tell that he thought this was his fault.

"Well I have a date so I am going to ignore your insults and leave, I might see you at Molly's?" She asked them, they all nodded and got up to and filed their paper work.

They had almost all left; Atwater had just left leaving Erin and Jay alone in the bullpen with Voight in his office. She watched him continue his paperwork, it had never taken him this long to finish.

"Hey are you leaving soon or what?" She playfully bumped his shoulder was she rolled his chair to his desk he gave a weak smile.

"Yeah I just have to finish this up."

"You going to the bar later," She asked hopeful.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure I feel like it."

"You, yeah okay come on I am going later, Kelly has shift later so I was hoping you would go."

"After today I'm not feeling much like it," He motioned towards her bruise.

"This wasn't you, you didn't do this and I don't blame you so stop moping around you baby and instead buy me a drink later." He smiled and rolled his eyes as he nodded to his friend who just laughed.

"Okay go, Kelly won't like if you are late." She laughed again, god he loved her laugh it was perfect. She got up and walked away.

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The weekend had come and gone too quickly for Erin's liking; she wished that they could have one more day off. She put her hands close to the vent in the car trying to warm herself up in this endless vortex of cold that was Chicago winter. She looked at the clock and sighed beeping off the horn hoping that this would make Jay hurry. Sure enough, he came down the stairs of his apartment building blowing into his cupped hands leaving a white trail of air in his path.

"Geez it is freezing out," he said as he slid into the car and placed his hands to the heating vent.

"You're telling me and here you are leaving me waiting for ten minutes for you as you take your precious time." She joked as she pulled the gear shifter into drive; she pulled away from the curb and into the slush filled streets.

"Ten minutes my ass, more like four," He scoffed.

"Listen princess you took longer than four minutes," She laughed, he just shrugged and smiled at her joke.

"I can't believe that we caught a case first thing this morning." She said as she focused on the road trying to avoid sliding around.

"I mean of course, this always happens especially after a bar visit to Molly's the night before."

"Oh I know, I swear it's like the criminals know when I'm going to have a headache."

"Oh you poor think better call Severide to take care of you," He said giving her a fake look of sympathy

"Okay smart ass first off it's a hangover I'm not sick and second for your information Kelly is out of town." She said to the smug Jay.

"Really he didn't mention that last night and I talked to him, Casey and Dawson for like an hour."

"Well it was last minute and wait you had a civil conversation with Gabby?" She said in disbelief.

"Yeah, we are adults and I'm happy for her and Casey, he is a good guy."

"Okay, whatever." She said dropping the subject, he just laughed and rolled his eyes.

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When they arrived; Voight and Olinsky sat in the bullpen looking over this morning's file, the case was a drug ring which had began to be a breeding ground for prostitution too.

"Wow, three dead hookers in one night, what is the COD?" Erin asked as she slipped off her jacket and sat in her chair.

"GSW to the back of the head, they were grouped together and we found the new drug on them." Voight answered. With that being said, Dawson and Atwater entered and only a few minutes behind them came Ruzek.

"Okay guys we have a very little to go by here so we are going to split up. Atwater and Dawson you go to the crime scene, the CSU team said they found a possible new lead, I want Ruzek, Halstead, and Olinsky to go canvas the neighborhood, there is an apartment building across the street and a lot of possible witnesses." Jay looked at his partner with confusion her face mirrored his expression.

"So am I with you then?" Erin asked Voight sitting up a little straighter in her seat.

"Yeah, Erin I need you to talk to a possible CI with me."

"Okay," She said shrugging her shoulders with a slight frown.

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"Thank you for your time!" Ruzek yelled at the tenant who had just slammed the door in his and Olinsky's face. Halstead laughed at the rage from Ruzek who in turn realized the humor to the whole ordeal.

"Well that is the last of the third floor, I hope we get something on the fourth floor," Olinsky sighed.

"Me too, we have been at this for two hours," Ruzek whined.

"In all honestly I don't think anyone is going to step forward, I mean look at where we are." Jay didn't want to sound like a downer but here, in this part of Chicago it was survival of the fittest.

"You're right but we need to try anyway." Ruzek said as he dragged himself to the stairs. They trudged upstairs and divided the hallway, parting ways. Halstead made it to his third door and that is when a woman greeted him, she looked panicked as if she was being watched but Jay knew she knew something.

"Hello Ma'am, I'm here with Chicago PD for the three murders that happened last night across the street, do you know anything."

"No," She said in a rapid tone, she was in panic mode about something and about to slam the door but he caught it with his foot.

"Listen, I am here to help get justice for those women, and I am here to keep you and everyone here safe but I need some cooperation here." She eyed him suspiciously as she weighed out whether to trust him or not but she must have decided for it.

"Not here, I will come to you but not here it's not safe," Her eyes were so dark, the rings under them aged her by twenty years, her mascara smeared and the slight twitch that she had told him that she may be on something.

"Can you meet me at the station?" She thought for a moment then nodded backing away.

"Here this is my card, my name is Jay Halstead, don't let me down." She slowly nodded again and slammed the door shut.

"Another dead end," Olinsky asked as he met up with Jay, Ruzek right behind him. Jay shook his head and motioned them to leave; he hoped that the woman would come.

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"Well she was no help at all," Erin said annoyed as they stepped back to the streets from the restaurant that they had just been at while meeting with Voight's CI. She was rude and snobby, said she had seen nothing but they could tell she was lying to them both, the fact that she was higher than a kite didn't help when meeting with them, Erin took in the first impressions.

"She usually isn't like that, I thought she would have opened up with you, she opened up with Julia…" He stopped at the name of their fallen comrade.

"She wasn't going to give us anything, not being that high at least, I just hope the guys found something."

"That neighborhood is probably a dead end, honestly it is a Darwin theory there."

"Well maybe we got lucky, don't knock it yet." He nodded and continued on, she look forward silent for a moment. He kept stealing glances of the now slightly faded bruise.

"So how did the fireman like that bruise?" Voight teased.

"He didn't really ask, lately he has been a little distance."

"Losing a partner isn't easy, you know that."

"Of course and I loved Shay, they were best friends but he hasn't snapped out of this funk, he is pushing people away, Gabby told me last night."

"He is dealing with his grief his way." He could tell she was hiding something. "Okay, what gives, tell me what you are hiding."

"It's nothing," She said backing into her seat more.

"It's not 'nothing' I can tell."

"Well Kelly and I broke up, it was something he had to do, and he is leaving for a little while so we ended it."

"Are you doing, okay?"

"Actually, I am really kind of relieved that he is taking the time for himself."

"Okay well as long as you are sure I don't have to kick his ass."

"Definitely not," She laughed as they pulled up to the precinct meeting up with Olinsky and Ruzek who were waiting for them.

Do you have anything for me?" Voight asked, his voice booming as usual.

"Actually yes, a woman by the name of Rosalyn Mendes, she is here now willing to talk for protection."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Erin asked.

"Well we are waiting for Antonio, Atwater and Halstead to get back." Ruzek answered.

"Why, we have a short time before these murders go at it again." Voight yelled slightly.

"She will only talk to Jay, said he was the one who talked her down here and that she will only trust him."

"Well he should be here soon right, he only went to the ME with Atwater and Dawson."

"Yeah, that is why we are waiting."

"As soon as he get here send him straight in, we need something before there are more victims."

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Jay sat across the table from Rosalyn, he watched her shake, not from fear but with the withdraw that she was going through. Her eyes darted around the room as she bounced her legs up and down and she bit at her nails. Her greasy hair fell down over her face but he could still see that her face looked the same from earlier, mascara smeared and face aged by the drugs and the anxiety.

"Rosalyn, obviously you came here to tell me something that has been killing to, you can tell me." He smiled softly as he used a calm voice that Erin had heard very often, she stood on the other side of the glass with Voight.

"This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here, and I'm next." She said as frantically.

"Not if we can help it, but in order for us to help you, you have to give us something." She sat up in her chair and pulled her hand away from her mouth.

"Everyone in that building that I live in, they are all in debt with The Latin Cobras. We all pay a fee and if we want to keep living as well as keeping our families and friends safe we have to keep silent about anything that is happening."

"So why are you stepping forward?"

"Because one of the victims, Heather Lockhart; she was my roommate, my best friend, I couldn't save her and they took her away!"

"Why kill them, they were not giving up anything."

"Except their own drugs, they brought it on the LC's turf and that is what got them killed."

"So they were selling their own brand of drugs?"

"No, they bought from LC and they got it discounted, they would sleep with Esposito and his gang and that got them cheap drugs but they would raise back up the price and sell it on the street for a few dollars cheaper."

"Is there anyone else in on this?"

"Yes, that is why I came to you, her name is Maria, and she is my sister, she and Heather started this but I refused to go into this I think there are four others with her in this deal."

"Where is your sister?"

"I don't know she is missing, I don't know if she is dead or alive, but if she is alive you better hurry, she is next."

"Alright I need you to think hard, is there anywhere she would go to stay away from the Latin Cobras?"

"There is one place, it is not too far from here, it is where we grow up, in that abandoned apartment building on Whiter."

"I know where that is, we will take a look there, listen, stay here, I will have a detective stay with you okay, you are safe now." She nodded and watched him jump up. He closed the door behind him and met up with Erin.

"Let's go check it out." She said, he nodded and they bolted off, hoping this lead would bring them to close this case soon.

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The case is heating up and I hope you are ready for some possible Erin of Jay whump (is that what it is called?) because it is going down. Review please, Love Layna.


	2. The Twist

Jay looked over at Erin who looked out her window, she had seemed so distance today; something was bothering her. As they sat in silence he stole glances at her, he was concerned for his partner she always shared with him. It took a long time for him to finally start the conversation.

"Hey Er, what's going on?" He received no response. "Erin, earth to Erin," He called again looking for her to react.

"Hmm," She turned to him, lost in her thoughts.

"What's going on with you Erin?"

"Nothing," She said finally snapping back into the real world, she adjusted herself in her seat.

"Come on Erin, you are never this quiet, what's happening in that head of yours?"

"Nothing Jay just drop it," She snapped, he looked at her confused on her attitude but he didn't have time to ask because they were at the abandoned complex She barely let him stop the car before jumping out and walking ahead of him but he soon caught up.

"I'm sorry can you fill me in, did I do something offensive in the ten minute car ride here?" She whipped around to him with a face of slight of anger that he would not drop it.

"Jay, it is honestly none of your business okay?" She growled. It so happened that as they got into the car Kelly texted her, it was a clean break up, no one to blame but suddenly Kelly turned on her. He had said that she should have protested the break up and that she was so selfish. This was an outrage, honestly, she had done everything to help him get through the loss of Shay and now he accused her of being a horrible person.

"Okay," He said raising his hands in defense. They reached the front door and Jay swung it open stepping into the trashed building. Graffiti covered the walls and from the looks of it, this was a hangout spots for junkies. He flashed his light through the halls, even in the daytime the halls were cloaked with darkness.

"What apartment was it?" Erin asked as she stepped around a pile of trash.

"Rosalyn said it was apartment 303, that's three floors up." He said pointing up the staircase.

"Ladies first," Jay tried to joke but Erin ignored him and walked up.

"Listen I am sorry I asked can we get over this."

"I am over it you are the one that is bringing it up."

"You are the one giving me the attitude of the century," He said defensively.

"I am not!" She protested no angrier that she was before.

"Erin you are treating me like I killed your dog."

"I don't have a dog."

"Okay well I just asked if my partner was okay and you are being really rude." He said as he pushed open the door of 303, the conversation came to an end and both of them staring at a body in a heap on the floor; a pool of blood surrounded her and her hair fell over her face.

"I think we found Maria," Jay said as he walked to the young woman and felt for a pulse but he knew she was long gone.

"Let's radio it in," Erin said but she stopped dead in her tracks when they heard a shatter from the hallway, as if someone had dropped a glass vase. Jay pulled his gun and nodded to Erin who pulled her gun out and crept to the door.

"Chicago PD, identify yourself," She yelled but all that they got was a hail of gunfire. Both fired back and ducked into the room across the way meeting with the gunman. A man lifted his gun to Erin's head but she was quick and disarmed him, his gun flew to the top of the staircase. He swung at her but she was quicker, she ducked down, kicked out his feet from under him causing him to fall to the ground, and quickly cuffed him. Now it was Jay's turn to win his fight but the man was the bigger of the two and with both guns thrown away from each other, he had to fistfight the beast.

Erin cuffed her perp to a radiator in the apartment and yelled at him to stay put before running off to help her partner. She got there just in time to see the man throw Jay against the wall; she pulled her gun and aimed but could not get a good shot. The man shoved Jay against the balcony doors, they swung open and the two men continued to fight. Erin took a shot hitting the man in the leg sending him to the ground. Jay let out a sigh of relief as he reached down and began to cuff the man Erin joined them. The man was not done fighting though he shoved Jay back and grabbed Erin throwing her over the balcony, she grabbed the ledge tried to keep herself from dropping.

"Save her or catch me your choice," The perp grinned but in the end, he knew that Jay would choose Erin. Jay cursed to himself as he watched the man run away after freeing his friend. He turned and grabbed hold of Erin who was about to slip.

"I've got you," he said to her as he pulled her up. She sat in shock for a minute trying to catch her breath; he called for a back up squad to search for the killers.

"Come on I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked out, he said as he tried to help her up but she slapped his hand away and got up.

"I don't need a hospital."

"Erin you were just thrown off a balcony."

"I didn't fall all the way down." She protested.

"Well I think you and I should get checked out I mean we did just get our ass handed to us." Jay joked but again she did not acknowledge it. "Okay stop, tell me what I did, just tell me what I said because obviously I did something to upset you and I am done playing this game," He did not mean to yell but he had and he could see her anger rise as well.

"Nothing, thanks for having my back," She yelled back before she stormed away pushing through Antonio and Voight who had just arrived. Both men looked at Halstead in confusion, giving him a "what the hell" look.

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Voight had reassigned the two detectives to different partners per Erin's request. Jay was with Antonio still licking his wounds from Erin's attitude, and Erin with Voight who was receiving similar treatment. When they had returned to the precinct, Jay had gone to tell Rosalyn that her sister was dead and Erin sat down with a sketch artist.

"I have checked all the hospitals in Chicago, there were no report for a large Latino man with a gunshot wound admitted." Nadia said as Jay rejoined the group.

"The blood he left behind is being run through CODIS, we should have results soon." Olinsky said as he hung up the phone with the CSU team.

"Okay, so now we have a fourth dead girl and two killers on the loose, we need to crack down; we need to catch these guys." Voight demanded in his gravely tone.

"We need to track down this Espinosa guy, Halstead and Dawson, look into that with Rosalyn."

"On it," Dawson replied as both of them got up and walked to interrogation.

"Ruzek, go to the ME with Atwater and get details on Maria. Olinsky and Erin go to Maria's apartment, see if you can find anything." They nodded and dispersed, leaving Voight to go check with another CI.

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"Rosalyn, I know this is hard but I need you to answer me, do you know anything about where the Latin Cobras would hang out?" This was the fourth time they asked but Rosalyn was still reeling over the loss of her sister. Jay sighed and nodded at Dawson to leave for a minute.

"Rosa, I know that your sister meant the world to you, I know that you want to help us catch her killers so please." The woman wiped away her tears and looked at the gentle detective.

"I don't, please I just want to go home." She said through her sobs. Jay nodded and motioned for Antonio to come back in.

"We will have to guards by your apartment to keep you safe, we will catch these men." She nodded and got up following them to the car.

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Olinsky searched the living room, through piles of magazines and letters on the table. The apartment was not very personalized but he figured that maybe she had been too busy with her drug business. Nothing came up in any of the mail that sent red flags, he moved to the kitchen next.

"Alvin, come in here," He heard Erin call from the bedroom.

"What did you find?" He asked as he entered the room.

"This picture, this is the man that threw me off the balcony!"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, if you bring this to Halstead he will agree." Olinsky nodded as he walked around to the other room before laying his eyes on a shocking picture.

"Lindsay, did you know that Maria and Rosalyn are twins," He held up the picture frame and revealed the identical twins at a younger age.

"Jay and I didn't even see Maria's face her hair was covering her face."

"I'm going to call Voight and ask him to tell him to tell Dawson and Halstead." She nodded and they both exited the room.

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"Voight," Hank said as he picked up the phone.

"Voight it's Ruzek, listen I'm here at the ME's office and she is telling that this body is not Maria Mendes."

"What do you mean?"

"She said the Dental records match Rosalyn Mendes, boss our witness is lying, you need to tell Dawson and Halstead."

"They went to take her home, listen I need you and Atwater to get to her apartment NOW."

"On it," Ruzek said quickly before hanging up. Voight grabbed his coat and was about to walk out when his phone rang again.

"Erin," He said as he answered.

"Yeah, listen we found out that Rosalyn and Maria are twins, we need…"

"We already know, but Halstead and Dawson are already taking her home, I need you and O to meet us at Rosalyn Mendes' apartment."

"On our way," She responded and then hung up. Voight tried to get Halstead or Dawson but there was no response. Something fishy was going on, he just hoped they could figure it out soon.


	3. Danger

Hello all, this is the next chapter, hope you like it. I love all the positive comments that I have been receiving, hope I can keep that up, Read and Review. Love Layna.

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Antonio and Jay entered Rosalyn's apartment and looked around, it was so neat and it was decorated amazing, something they did not expect a druggy like Rosalyn to do.

"I will be right back, I need to use the bathroom," She said before walking down the hall but Jay saw her hesitate and walk to one door before opening it and closing the door again and walking to the next one. His gut told him that something was off but he shook it off and instead joined Antonio in the living room.

"Wow, she has a lot of pictures," Antonio smiled before walking to the ledge above the fireplace to see the different pictures in the colorful frames. Jay examined the others around the room they were all of a smiling Rosalyn who was with friends and family, but none looked like ones of her family. Jay walked away the wall and smiled at one he saw of two little girls, identical and that was when it hit Jay, Rosalyn and Maria were twins. He put down the picture frame just as Rosalyn rejoined them.

"You have a lovely home," Jay said, he had only seen the outside the one time.

"I guess," She shrugged as she walked into the kitchen, Antonio raised his eyebrow and looked at Jay, the suspicion rose in both of them. When she was out of ear, shot Antonio called Jay over quietly.

"Is it just me or is something off?"

"No Tonio, I feel the same way, maybe we should call Voight."

"Good call, you do it, and I'll go talk to her."Jay nodded, he pulled his phone and as soon as he saw Antonio strike up the conversation, he looked down only to see he had missed calls from Voight and Erin. He dialed Voight and waited for a response.

"Halstead," The gravelly voice boomed over the phone.

"Hey Voight, sorry we missed the calls listen Antonio an…" He began but Voight cut him off.

"Halstead listen, Rosalyn isn't who she says she is, she is really Maria."

"I knew something was off, I saw a picture of the two of as kids,"

"Listen, we believe she killed the girls, her sister included that night, I need you and Antonio to bring her back in but don't let on that you know." Jay was about to respond but a thud from the next room stopped him.

"I think she knows."

"We are eight minutes out, try to keep her calm."

"I think Antonio is down Voight, I have to go, hurry." He hung up as Voight was beginning his next sentence. He pulled his gun and walked unto the entryway of the kitchen with the gun down low, slightly hidden.

"Antonio, Rosalyn?" He called out but he received no answer and he saw why, Antonio was on the floor out cold with a large gash on his head that was bleeding badly. He was stunned for a minute but a pipe of some sort swung at him but he was able to move his head in time but it knocked the gun out of his hand. Maria ran and kicked the gun under the kitchen table and swung again missing again. With both hands up in a surrendered, "Maria listen you need to put down the pipe, we can help you."

"Help me, Help me how, I killed them but they had to die!"

"I get your roommate and the other girls but why Rosalyn, she wasn't a part of this."

"She caught me so I took her out too; she gave up on me so long ago and acted like she owned the world. She wasn't anything but a waitress, but because she wasn't a druggie she was better than me!" Jay ducked again from another swing, quickly grabbing a pan on the stove he threw it at her knocking the pipe from her hand. He came after her but she was quick and stepped around her. She falling into the counter, he came up behind her but he did not realize that she had a knife and it was too late for him. He felt the cold blade stab through his neck; he fell to the floor next to Antonio. She brought the knife down again hitting him in the chest, he felt the warm blood flow from the wounds and he felt his airflow begin to become compromised.

His hands flew to his neck putting pressure on the wound as it bled profusely. He watched as Maria stepped back in shock looking at her hands, they were coated with Jay's blood. She ran a bloodied hand through her hair as shock displayed on her face, then she fled and Jay laid there bleeding out on the floor and Antonio laid there with a major laceration and a huge possibility of a severe concussion. Jay laid there in his thoughts; panic filled him as he felt the blood seep through his fingers and the pain consumed him, were they going to die here?"

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Erin and Voight came to a screeching halt at the front of the apartment building at the same time Ruzek, Olinsky and Atwater appeared. With a single look they all flew up the stairs and to the apartment, which was Rosalyn's. They all took in the door before them, a handprint of blood was smeared on the it and that was when they knew the situation had gotten worse. Voight and Erin entered followed by Ruzek and Atwater with Olinsky in last, they all split up and soon Ruzek and Olinsky disappeared down the hall. Olinsky checked the balcony, Voight, and Erin made it to through the living room. Erin left Voight and walked to the kitchen, as soon as she stepped foot in the entry way she let in a horrified shaky breath and put her gun it her holster, she fell next to Jay and frantically tried to figure out what to do.

"Voight!" She yelled, "Call for medics Antonio and Halstead are down," She knew he was behind her but she did not take her eyes off Jay. His eyes panicked as he lightly pressed on his neck. Olinsky ran in but stopped in shock for a minute before falling next to Dawson and checked his injuries. Erin took over for her friend and placed her hands on the wound on his neck, his warm blood began to stain her hands instantly.

"Hold on Jay, help is on the way," She said with tears in her eyes as she watched him gasp, his air supply seemed to be compromised. He reached his blood soaked hand and placed it on her hands.

"Its okay, you are going to be just fine, okay I mean you survived war so you better survive this," He tried to smile but a wave of pain hit in, the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth, and he felt it began to trickle down his face.

"He needs help now, Voight where are the medics?" She yelled.

"Here," He called as he rushed in with Mills and Brett. Mills rushes to Halstead instantly and pulls out gauze.

"See, I told you help was here." Erin said with a smile but it was wiped clean when Jay didn't respond, he just looked straight forward.

"He is going into shock; we have to take him now!" Mills said as he packed the wounds that Jay had, he was slipping fast. "How is Dawson," He asked Brett.

"Not good, I think he can last until out other medic gets here."

"Okay, Listen they will be here any minute but I need her to drive so I can help Jay or else we will lose him, keep him still okay and tell them he may have a possible bleed, get it checked out, we have to go now." Brett and Mills switched Jay over to the gurney and rushed him down the stairs leaving them with Antonio. Erin pushed herself against the cabinets below the counter, she covered her mouth with her wrist as the blood dripped off her hands and tears fell fast down her cheeks. Jay had to be okay he just had to.

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Antonio was taken away no more than three minutes after Jay and both of them brought to Chicago Med, It was the hardest part waiting but that is where they ended up, in a waiting room surrounded but the hustle of an ER. No one had heard about Jay the last they heard was when Mills told them he was going in to shock and had to get to the hospital. Erin sat next to Voight, she had just finished washing the blood off her hands but she could feel the stickiness linger. Voight had his arm around her shoulder and he could see she was in a daze just like the rest of the team.

Gabriella Dawson came running into the waiting room in a panic; behind her was Matt Casey, both of them looking for answers, all of them on the faces of the waiting five. Gabby walked over to Voight in a demanding way.

"Last we heard about Antonio was that he has a severe concussion, and that was from Brett at the crime scene." She nodded and fell into a chair, Matt sitting next to him.

"And Jay," Matt asked, he knew that he did not really know Jay but he knew from what Mills had said it was not good. Erin answered the question, if you saw her you would think she was talking to herself, directing the question to anyone.

"He is not good." Matt settled in quietly but then a doctor came in and all of them snapped out of their daze, jumping to their feet waiting for anything.

"I'm here on behalf of Antonio Dawson, is his next of kin Gabriella here?"

"I'm here, I'm his sister."

"Would you like to go somewhere privately," The doctor asked. She thought about it for a minute but when she saw the faces of Antonio's friends, she shook her head.

"No, anything I hear, they will hear later."

"Okay, well Antonio did in fact have a severe concussion from the blow to his head, we want to keep him for a few day to monitor him, he should be fine he just needed some stitches and I figure he will have one hell of a headache but he will be fine." They all let out a breath of relief.

"You can see him soon but right now they are setting him up in a room."

"Thank you so much Doctor," Gabby said as she clutched on to Matt. The doctor turned to leave but the quietly asked question from Erin caused him to stop in his tracks.

"Is there anything on Jay Halstead?" The doctor's face became serious as he turned to them all.

"I am not allowed to give out that information to non family members."

"Doc, we are his family, he has no one else but us," Voight said, the Doctor nodded and took a deep breath before he spoke.

"From what I know, Detective Halstead go lucky with his neck wound it just missed his carotid by two millimeters. The stab wound to his chest, from what I hear it nicked his lung and hit the heart. It is in a tricky spot and last from what I heard they were trying to see how to remove the blade without having him bleed out, his outlook is not good but some of the best surgeons are on his case so if anyone can remove it carefully, it's them." Erin felt the lump in her throat grown and gasp exited her as tears rolled down face as she turned into Voight who held her taking in the news himself.

"I will see if I can get a better update, that is only what I heard when I was in the trauma room next to them a while ago, I'll have someone find you if there is a better update." Voight thanked him and clutched on tighter to the crying Erin, the rest of the team wanted to be happy that Antonio was okay but how could that happen when Halstead was dying.

"I hope Jay makes it thorough this, he is strong and I have high hopes he will." Matt said to the team.

"We think so too, let Dawson know we will be in to see him… Don't tell him about Jay, not yet, they are close and I don't want to over stress him." Olinsky spoke, Gabby nodded and Matt and her left leaving the team reeling over the news, would Jay make it or would they lose another?


	4. Secrets

She couldn't stop, the moments replayed in her head like a never ending horror movie. She could see everything as clear as day; the look of helplessness and fear on Jay's face and the blood… the blood, there was so much of it, how was that possible for him to lose that much and still be alive. She was going crazy as the fear consumed her. There was no one with her, she was alone, the rest of the team had left to find Maria in hopes to bring her to justice but she stayed behind to be there or Jay and Antonio.

"Jay Halstead," A male doctor called, she jumped up and walked to him, her eyes puffy and red and tears still fell.

"I'm his partner," She said flashing her badge to the man who gave her a suspicious look.

"I can only release the information to the family…"

"He doesn't have one, I am all he has," She said angrily, she just wanted answers.

"Okay, well I think we should sit," He said moving them to the chairs that she had just sat in for two hours.

"Is it bad," She asked fearful of the response.

"Detective Halstead was in awful shape when he came in here, they had lost him in the ambulance twice and then two more times on the operating table. He lost so much blood, more than we put in. His neck was a real problem."

"But the other Doctor said that his neck was fine, he told is that it was the chest wound."

"Both were, I don't know what Doctor Emmis told you but he wasn't there and he should not have given an update without clear facts. The knife nicked his carotid, and it was enough to cause a slow bleed, we have to keep a watchful eye on this because right now, it is exposed and even the slightest break could end badly. His chest was bad too, it hit his lung and just barely missed his heart, we were able to fix the lung but he had to have a chest tube put in. Unfortunately, we have a possibility of a slow bleed, so we are monitoring him closely. His brain went a while without oxygen so we are unsure if there is damage there. Unfortunately I am unsure if he will survive through the night."

Erin threw her hands over her mouth and collapsed into the chair behind her. Her mind was swimming, was this real, did the doctor really just say that Jay might not make it through the night. Jay Halstead the man who had served in the rangers, the man who had had her back for years, the few people she trusted, was he really dying.

"He is in recovery, as soon as he can have visitors I will come get you." He waited for her to acknowledge him but she was still in shock so instead she was left alone with her terrifying thoughts and the most difficult phone call she would ever have to make.

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"Damn," Voight yelled, slamming his fist had down on his desk. This caused Atwater, Ruzek, and Olinsky to flinch, they knew this phone call could go one of two way, either Jay was seriously injured or he was… no one wanted to think about the other option it was one that they had every day on the job but right now it was real, the fear was there. All three men had their eyes glued on Voight he said something else, hung up the phone and stormed into the bullpen. He was met with three sets of longing and terrified eyes as they waited for anything.

"He is alive but the report from the other doctor was wrong, he is a fighter so we need to focus on that. Right now Maria is out there and she is capable of anything, she has already killed four and wounded our two so let's go get her before she hurts anymore." Voight walked back into his office, he was aware that Alvin followed him and when the door shut behind them Voight let out a sigh before turning to his friend and giving him a sad look of despair.

"How bad Hank?" Olinsky asked crossing his arms across his chest.

"The doc told Erin that he might not make it through the night, I told her to stay with him I know she won't be able to focus." He fell into a chair, scrubbed his face with his hands, and let out a groan of anger.

"We will catch her; she can't go unpunished for her selfish and heinous acts. We will get right on it, and don't worry so much for Erin, she will be okay," Had Olinsky just read his mind. He was afraid of what would happen if Jay did not make it, if she was going to be able to make it through the pain and emotional damage it would bring. Voight nodded and Olinsky excused himself to go catch the bitch that had done this.

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Erin had only cried a few times in her life, of course with the childhood she had she had grown a thick skin that repealed any emotion but here she was elbows on knees and face covered by hands sobbing her eyes out. Jay was… is the best partner she had ever had, he always helped her out with the problems that she had, she never had to second guess if he was going to be there. She knew that she had been awful to him, it was like he had been her punching bag because Severide hadn't been there for her to yell at. She heard the door open of the waiting room and she immediately tried to compose herself, wiping away the tears and scrubbing her nose with her sleeve.

"I'm sorry Erin, I didn't mean to barge in."

"No Gabby, you're fine, how is Antonio?" Gabby looked at her with the most heartbreaking sympathetic look as she took a spot next to Erin.

" Awake, and asking for the team, he keeps asking if Halstead kicked the girls ass… that was the hardest lie I have ever told," Gabby said looking down at her hands as she fidgeted with them, tears welled up in her eyes.

"What did you tell him?"

"That Jay didn't catch her, instead he helped him, he told me he was going to have to yell at him, he should have gone after her instead." Erin let out a faint laugh letting a small smile appear.

"Is he going to be okay?" Erin asked, her face turned so serious.

"Well the doctor said he had a slight concu…"

"No, I mean… I mean will he be okay if Jay dies?" Gabby felt the ping in her heart when Erin asked, honestly, she did not know. So many times at a dinner between them Antonio would talk about the crazy things that Jay would do, Halstead was one of Antonio's best friends and she knew that Antonio only had few friends like Jay he trusted.

"I don't know but we have to believe that Jay will be okay, even with our past I want him to be okay and I think he will." Erin nodded and gave a fake smile, she knew that Gabby meant well but with the news from the doctor, she was afraid that the team would have a loss on their hands.

"So is Antonio awake?"

"Yeah and driving Matt nuts."

"Do you think I can go see him? I have been so worried and I have to wait until a doctor comes with news on Jay." Gabby smiled softly and nodded helping her to her feet and leading her to her brother's room. She took a deep breath and walked in.

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Ruzek slammed his hands on his desk; there were no new charges or withdraws on either Maria or Rosalyn's bank accounts. He rubbed his face with his hands, this was the most frustrating case, the whole team had been blind about the truth with Maria and in turn, two of their own got hurt.

"I have nothing; she hasn't taken out any money or charged anything so I don't know how she was is getting out of here."

"Yeah, I mean all Maria has for an income was her being a prostitute and most of her money went to drugs," Atwater said pushing away from his as he too was frustrated.

"Any for Rosalyn, all her money was in the bank for her job as a waitress." Olinsky spoke, he stood up and went to the board and looked over their pictures of all their information and crime scenes. Something hit Ruzek and Olinsky could see the wheels turning in his head as an epiphany. The man turned to his computer and began to look to the contents on the screen.

"What do you have Adam," Voight had just walked in and could see that a possible lead had surfaced.

"Nothing that is going to help us, Maria is not going to be very traceable unless someone sees the BOLO." Ruzek turned his computer screen and showed the transactions on Rosalyn's accounts.

"What am I looking at," The husky , gravelly voice of Voight boomed.

"All of the transactions are either deposits or withdraws, these four here are the same amount or pretty close to the same and my sister was a waitress at one time, this amount here is what they actually paid but that's not including tips."

"Okay," Atwater tried to follow.

"And, that means that Rosalyn hasn't been depositing those, and as I can see all charges for groceries and gas, even rent, they are all on the card. The question being what she does with the tips, she saves them and I think Maria knew."

"So she took the money and is using it," Olinsky said angrily.

"This is a possibility, so let's just hope that out BOLO catches."

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The fake smile was always the most complicated task to master but somehow over time and with her background, Erin Lindsay had gotten it down to a science though her puffy red eyes may give her away. She immediately running to Antonio, and gave him a hug to show how grateful she was that he was okay.

"Hey are those tears for me, I'm okay, see." It was perfect for a cover and she used it to her advantage to hide this huge secret.

"I was just so worried so Voight let me stay behind for you; I am so glad that you are okay."

"Yeah after getting my ass kicked by a girl." Antonio let out a painful laugh, the movement made his head hurt. Gabby walked to him, took his hand, and looked to Erin giving her a sad look.

"Any luck catching the broad?"

"No, the team is working on it, I know when Voight gets her she would wish she was her dead twin."

"I can't believe that she got us, I mean Halstead got it from a picture but by the time we figured it out it was too late, next thing I know I am being hit in the head." Erin stiffened at the use of Jay's name, as did Gabby; this one did not pass by Antonio so easily.

"What's going on," He asked raising his eyebrow. Erin panicked, she did not know what to say but Gabby was quick to answer and a good explanation for being put on the spot.

"You caught us, Antonio don't freak out but we knew if we told you, you would object, Erin is here for security purposes, to make sure this woman doesn't come to finish the job." Erin could not help but smile in amazement at the lie that Gabriella conjured up.

"I do not need Security Detail," He protested.

"Okay hot shot but Voight assigned me anyway," Erin rolled her eyes.

"Fine, well I guess if it was anyone I would choose you, I you can kick ass." Antonio said as he yawned, his eyes beginning to droop.

"Get some sleep Tonio, I will keep an eye on you." She smiled softly receiving the same look from him and within a few minutes, he had drifted off.

"I can't keep lying to him, it is so tough." Gabriella said as she looked at her peaceful brother.

"That lie you came up with was pretty damn good but I swear when he gets better we can tell him but until then we have to stay strong." Gabby nodded just as a light knock on the door got their attention.

"Detective, you can visit Detective Halstead now." The same doctor who broke the news stood in the door way. Erin looked to Gabby who just smile and nodded.

"Thank you Erin, I'll be fine, Matt is off shift soon." Erin smiled with tears in her eyes as she turned and followed the doctor who took her up to the next floor, the ICU.

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I am so sorry this took so long, the wait was a combination of being busy and being lazy… mostly being lazy ( That is basically my middle name). I am so grateful for your support and love and I will continue on because of it, please Review I love hearing your thoughts. Love always Layna


	5. Pain

Erin had been a cop long enough to know what it was like having the wind knocked out of her. In fact, she was sure that at least half of her collars had put up a fight and hit her hard enough to have the wind taken away from her. It was like her lungs shut off for a second but then she was able to retaliate back and kick the man or woman's ass and take them down, every time she was able to take hold of the situation but this was different. This time she was out of her element and the breath that had been knocked out of her was not coming back to her, this time instead her lungs struggled to regain the ability to re-inflate. This all was because she stepped into Jay's room and saw him, the worst she had ever seen him.

She had seen Jay get hurt before, she had seen him get punched and shot at but he was always the macho man and would bounce back, always having her six. She had seen the scraps, bruises and scars on him and he always had some smug comment about them, some story that he over exaggerated at the bar to impress the others and any woman in the vicinity. She had seen him bleed before but until today it had never hit her about how much blood the human body held in relativity with the amount that surrounded Jay and now she was seeing him since that moment and that is when the wind was knocked out of her.

It latched in her throat as the initial shock came over her, the shock of his appearance, one that she had never thought she would see. He was only a few shades darker than the bandage around his neck making the tube of blood being transfused into his forearm look a sickly darker red. He was shirtless, and this was not the first time, but again this was different and the surgical team had wrapped it after they had done the surgery. There were less tubes and wires than she expected, the chest tube had been taken out after surgery so one less but he still had the IV wire in the back of his hand, a pulse oximeter on his finger tip, there was a nasogastric tube down his nose; but the most frightening was the endotracheal tube.

It was terrifying for one reason, the reason being that it made Erin aware of the severity of it all even though all the other gadgets were an indicator. It made her realize just how bad off her once alive and vivacious partner was. He could not breathe on his own, his body couldn't handle the easy task that everyone took for granite and it made her feel so physically ill as she moved closer to his bed. She took in a shaky breath as the tears threatened to fall; the lump in her throat grew as she felt the pain of seeing her best friend like this. Her best friend… this term didn't seem to fit with the feelings she had for him; wait maybe she was feeling this because of his condition and she was worried because the Jay Halstead she knew was a huge pain in the ass.

"Jay Halstead you are a pain in the ass, there is no denying that, you are always so frustrating. For one you pick fights just to get a rise out her, and then there is your annoying habit of blasting the radio in the car on the morning drive in." God she remembered the other day when she was still half asleep and he knew that so he blasted a random rap station that only he would be able to find, she had punched him in the arm and he only laughed in response. In that moment she realized that these things that she hated about him were the things she would miss about him, because even though he pissed her off with the music, his lip syncing and made up dance moves had brought a smile to her face that day.

"Jay you have to pull through, you can't leave I forbid it!" She demanded though she knew it fell on deaf ears, he could not hear her, and she doubted he even knew she was there. CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

"Any update boss?" Ruzek jumped up from his chair as soon as Voight exited his office.

"Nothing but what about you, anything on Maria," Voight asked, his mood told them not to test his limits but right now, they had nothing. This girl was in the wind and did not want to be found, they had searched high and low and all borders of Chicago were sealed off so she was not getting out that easy.

"Nothing, the border cops have told us the only thing that they have for us is thousands of complaints from motorists who are late or inconvenienced." Atwater responded not looking the man directly in the eye.

"Well what about the gang members, has anyone been found this Esposito character?"

"No, but I've got the next best thing." Olinsky said jogging up the stairs, Voight had not even realized that the man had left but he trusted Alvin, he was his oldest friend. By Olinsky's side stood a man that Voight had only seen a picture once, Erin identified the man as the man who shoved her of the balcony. Voight felt his rage boil inside him as he walked over to the man and landed a light kick to the back of the man's left leg, in response the man yelled in pain.

"What the hell Man!"

"Seems like you have recently been injured, let me guess it was a bullet." The man's face went serious.

"Not so cocky now that you don't have a gun huh?" Olinsky said yanking him to an interrogation room.

Voight stormed in and flipped a chair around sitting across from the man with a death glare that could kill. He threw a file onto the table, pulled out five pictures, and laid them out in front of the man who had identified as Hector Jose. Hector stared down at the woman and when Voight saw his eyes reach Rosalyn's photo he spoke.

"Her murder is on you, and we have two cops that place you at the crime scene," Hector's eyes widened in shock.

"Man, I aint kill no one, I was sent there with Rico…" He stopped himself and settled into the chair.

"Well those two cops say otherwise unless it was your buddy Rico but I am sure I can find your gun and connect you to the murder, it is no sweat off my back to watch a scumbag like you go away, you'd make a nice prison husband."

"No, you got it all wrong; Esposito sent me and Rico in."

"Who is this Esposito and why did he send you there?"

"Man, Esposito isn't a dude, it's a woman, our leader."

"Your leader, is this woman well why is she telling you to go in this warehouse?"

"She needed us to move her sister's body."

"Wait Maria Mendes is your leader?"

"Yeah, the brains and gun power, she is a bad ass and a really good liar; I found out that she set Rico and me up."

"How so," Voight asked.

"She is psycho lately, those girls, they were Maria's dealers but Maria became paranoid because she knew they were talking to get into another dealer's business."

"So she killed them, they weren't stealing product?"

"No, those girls were loyal and I would know because I was the that was that dropped them at their points every day, Maria is crazy and then her sister, that was another story."

"Jealousy, Rosalyn had a better life than Maria."

"Well I guess that was part of it but it wasn't the better life thing, Rosalyn has known about this business for years and would never tell on her sister, she knew it was wrong but she would protect her sister any day."

"So why kill her?"

"Because of Keegan," Hector answered.

"Who is Keegan?"

"Keegan was our delivery guy, he was a good kid, he didn't use and he was always good with delivery, he only kept the job for one reason."

"Rosalyn?"

"Yeah, he started out of high school, he needed money for college so he came to us, and only thing is he met Rosalyn who told him he needed to stop before something bad happened. They loved each other so much and I was not surprised when he said he was quitting because he wanted to start a crime free live with Rosa."

"That didn't go so well for Maria especially in her state, she thought that Keegan and Maria were going to go branch out on their own and she was furious."

"Well if this adds up right then Keegan is our next victim, does he have a last name?"

"Depends do I get a deal?"

"Yeah sure, now come on we don't have a lot of time."

"His last name is Tedder; he actually lives a few minutes away." Voight got the address and burst out telling the team to get ready, they were going to catch this bitch.

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The doctor had kicked Erin while they took Jay for testing but that was fine with her, she did not know how much longer she could take seeing him there, she needed a break. It was perfect timing because she needed to go check on Antonio who by now had to be awake. She walked down the hallways, past the sick and injured the doctors and the family and friends of the patients; it was a busy night that she could tell. Her phone began to ring suddenly and to her dismay it was at a loud setting, this resulted in some pretty mean glares. She quickly yanked it and looked at the screen.

"Hey Voight, any luck?" She answered as she waved an apology to the people staring at her.

"Actually yes, we have new lead and I wanted to let you know but also check up on Dawson and Jay."

"Antonio, I am on the way to see him but what Gabby has told me, he is going to be discharged tomorrow."

"Good, and Halstead," She fell silent as she felt the lump re- emerging in her throat.

"There is no change in his condition which is far from good but then again not bad news." Voight could hear the quiver that Erin so desperately tried to hide but failed to do.

"He is strong Erin, we aren't breaking in another partner for you, Jay was hard enough to train." She let out a light yet sad laugh making Voight smile, he wasn't sure he was going to get one of those for a while.

"Listen, I'm at Antonio's room and we haven't told him so I have to go but call me when you have something." Erin said, she was confident with the team even if they were three short right now.

"I will, and call if anything changes."

"I will." She hung up and took a few calming breaths before walking into Antonio's room. He was talking to a nurse, he seemed to be flirting slightly and she could not help but smile but she knocked interrupting the two.

"Hey Casanova, I see a head injury hasn't stopped you," Antonio smiled and the nurse blushed slightly. "Where is Gabby?"

"I sent her to go get something to eat; she is way too stressed over me being in here. Has the team come any closer to catching Maria?"

"Yeah, Voight just called they have a lead." She sat in the chair that Gabby had sitting next to Antonio's bed.

"Can I ask you something, something serious?" Antonio asked as he sat up a little more in his bed.

"Yeah, go for it."

"How bad is it?"

"Oh Antonio, you are fine, I mean you are out of here tomo…"

"No Erin, how bad is Halstead," Her blood ran cold and she could feel her heart beginning to pound. She looked at Antonio, her face so serious and when she looked at him, she could see a glimmer from his misty eyes and a sad smile lay on his lips.

"How did you know," she asked, her voice quivered as the lump began to grow.

"I heard you outside, I am not deaf how is he doing did she hit him too."

"No," She shook her head flashing a smile that fell as the tears began to fall too. "No, she stabbed him, twice and it did a lot of damage." She said looking down to her hands as she picked at her nails, a nervous habit she had.

"How bad Erin?" Antonio demanded, she looked up and wiped the tears from her face only to have more fall, she looked at him and had to hold in the sob that she wanted to let out. "Erin, how bad," he asked again, fearful of the answer.

"When she stabbed him she got him in the chest and hit his lung but also she stabbed him in the neck and she hit his carotid," She let out a shaky breath before going on. "They aren't sure he is going to make it through the night," Antonio balled his fist and slammed them on the bed, letting out a angry growl.

"Damn it Halstead," She heard how his voice shook with the curse of his friend. She wiped away more tears and sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. They stood in silence for only a moment before Gabby returned and as soon as she entered and looked at the faces of the two, she rushed over to her brother and wrapped him in a warm hug. Erin had only seen Antonio cry this hard once, when his son was taken, she didn't know if he knew that she had seen him in the break room but never the less it was a heart wrenching experience. Here she was again watching as he sobbed into his sister's shoulder, the tears cascaded down her face as she looked down again as she too began to sob. Then out of nowhere she felt a hand touch hers, as she looked up she followed the hand to Gabriella who gave her a sad smile and a tight squeeze. The most emotion that Erin had felt since the death of Camille and she wasn't ready for another round of that pain.


	6. The Catch

Hello All here is the next chapter, let me know what you think, Love Layna.

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The Intelligence team stormed the apartment building, motioning tenants back into their homes as they stepped out into the hall. The team was ready to take down the girl who had played them all and placed two of their own in the hospital. Ruzek ran to the door and stood at its side while Olinsky knocked hard on the door.

"Police, open the door Keegan Tedder," He yelled, they waited for a second before they heard a male voice shout for help. There was no waiting, Voight moved forward and kicked at the door sending it flying back and crashing on the floor. The team followed as they charged the apartment before finding a male who was assumed to be Tedder being held at gunpoint by Maria.

"Get back or I swear Ill blow his brains out," Maria shouted keeping her focus on Keegan, she adjusted her grip.

"Maria, give up we have you surrounded and what is killing going to accomplish?" Atwater asked taking a step closer, she glanced at him sideways fear filling her body as she adjusted her grip on the gun again.

"He was going to leave my business to start one himself, him and my stupid sister, she had to die!"

"Maria I wasn't leaving to start a business, I was leaving because I loved Rosalyn and we wanted to stop being criminals."

"Yeah right like I believe you, I know that if you left then more than half my clients would leave too."

"Maria listen, lower the gun you are only getting yourself in more trouble," Ruzek said in a calming tone even though his hatred coursed through his veins.

"It can't get any worse, I mean one more won't hurt, I'm already going away for life!"

"He has done nothing wrong Maria, why kill him," Olinsky asked.

"If my life crumbles because of him and my sister than he should suffer too, she is dead so now he is my next target."

"Maria put the gun down," Atwater as he looked to Voight, they knew there was only one option. In a millisecond Voight took the shot, taking down Maria with only a bullet wound to her arm, Keegan to safety and watched as they arrested Maria. Ruzek yanked Maria to her feet and began reading her her rights before shoving her through the door and down the stairs with the team following. Voight watched as Ruzek sat her in the car and shut the door behind her it was finally over. His phone came to life in his back pocket and when he pulled it out, he saw it was Erin.

"Erin, we caught her," He said immediately. "No yeah we can come back, is everything okay, yes…okay listen we will be there soon." He hung up the phone and looked at the team, "Come on, we need to get to the hospital," They did not wait for an explanation instead they jumped in the car and sped off.

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This chapter is this short for a reason it is a transition. I know the ending could go one of two ways and I wanted to put both on this story because it was a tough decision so for now all you get is this (Muahahahaha) I will post the first ending first so review in the mean time and let me know what you think Love Layna.


	7. Change

So I lied last chapter, there wont be two endings, so its just going to continue on like normal. Please Read and Review, I love you all. Love Layna!

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She sat in the waiting room yet again in shock; she herself was not sure what had just happened just moments ago before she was forced out of the room. She looked down at her hands, they shook but that wasn't the trouble… no the problem was the fact that they were covered in blood. She want sure when it had gotten bad, she was just sitting in his room, informing him of what was happening in the case and then suddenly she was watching a small dot of crimson grow on his neck bandage as it began to turn into a pool. She had tried to act quickly by placing pressure on his neck and screaming for help. It was only seconds before a doctor pulled her back and then a nurse escorted her into this room. Some time in between then and now she called Voight, he was going to be here soon and that meant that she should probably go clean up, she looked a mess.

She got up and moved to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. As she dispensed the soap, she began to let the tears fall, and as she looked into the mirror, she broke. The sobs made it impossible for her to breathe she was hyperventilating; her whole world was crashing down. The ringing of her phone made her calm down a little as she pulled herself to answer it.

"Lindsay," She answered trying to hold back the shaky voice she had.

"Erin, we are in the waiting room, where are you?" Voight's raspy voice asked.

"In the bathroom, I will be out soon." She hung up with him without another word and put her phone away. She wiped the tears from her eyes and blew her nose before splashing water on her face, taking a deep breath and walking out towards the waiting room.

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Two hours, they had been in that waiting room for two hours with no word on their friend and it was killing them. Ruzek hated whoever came up with the saying, "No news is good news" because it was honestly the worst feeling ever. He bit at his nails and stared at the door, waiting for anyone to come in. He sighed with frustration before taking his gaze away from the door. He looked at Antonio who had been released, instead of going home moved into the waiting room against his sister's wishes. He looked like he aged by ten years though all of them did; Atwater bounced his knee as he kept his head down and his focus on the floor. Olinsky who was the quiet one sat in his corner but like Ruzek he kept his gaze on the door.

His eyes finally reached Erin and Voight, she was laying her head on Voight's arm, her eyes puffy and red from crying all the tears she had, she looked completely drained. Voight sat stoic like usual but Ruzek could tell he was worried. All of them were, Ruzek had become so close to Jay, they had become fast friends. He remembered the first time he met Jay, the man had been so welcoming but at the same time a class clown. He felt bad for Erin, she was so close with Jay, and honestly, he thought that the two of them would end up together.

His thoughts were broken when the door opened and a older man walked in, he wore a scrubs and they knew that was the man who had was working on Jay. Erin jumped up; she grabbed hold of Hank's arm, squeezing it tightly.

"I am going to assume you are the family of Detective Halstead?"

"Yes." Olinsky answered nervously.

"His carotid artery was exposed as you know and it seems to have sprung a leak. He lost a lot of blood; he was losing it just as fast as we were pumping it into him. We rushed him to surgery and were able to fix the bleeding but the blood lost lead to some complications and he ended up coding on out table twice. We revived him but the fact being it isn't getting any better."

"Can we see him?" Erin almost pleaded.

"Unfortunately, Detective Halstead inst allowed visitors, we are moving him into a clean room and putting him under 24 hour surveillance, he cannot be exposed to anything from the outside, even the slightest germ could kill him, his immune system is weak." Erin felt her leg give in on her as she collapsed into a chair. Her heart was pounding fast; it felt like it was going to jump out of her chest.

"How long will he be in this clean room for?" Antonio asked.

"That is tough to say; right now it is all on how his wounds heal his neck we are most concerned about. You should all go home and get rest; we will call if there is any change."

"Thank you Doctor," Voight said, the man nodded and walked out.

"You heard the man, we need to go get some shut eye, and we can come back today, just know that he is going to be okay Jay is a strong, tough guy." They all grimly nodded, he was right but with this health scare it was hard to believe. One by one they left, Voight walked out with Erin, he could see her eyelids drooping as she dragged feet, he had told her she was staying with him and she had agreed, it was going to be a long night of no sleep. As they sat in the car, letting it warm up he looked at his daughter, he had seen her go through so much since Cam and him had let her in their home but this was the hardest thing she had felt.

"Erin, he is going to be okay, he is Jay," She just looked at him expressionless and nodded; he wished he could believe his own words; Jay had to be all right.

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Erin had nightmares before but these ones seemed so real and it was consuming her, eating her alive. One minute she was talking to Jay at the bar, his bright white smile and the heartwarming laugh he had and then all of a sudden he was falling to the floor grasping at his neck as blood seeped through them. She would wake up screaming alerting Voight who would run to her and hold her telling her it was going to be okay. Was it though, was everything going to be okay because right now it felt like the floor was crumbling beneath her, like she was drowning trying to stay above water to keep alive.

Two week had passed since Jay's last scare and they still had him in isolation, it was torture for her not being able to be next to him, holding his hand. She had returned to work that week but every night after shift, she would be there, sitting outside, looking at him through the glass watching his chest rise and fall, her insurance that he was still there. It had been the toughest two weeks of her life as she battled her emotions.

"Hello Detective Lindsay," the nurse named Emma called to her, her warm smile making Erin give her a weak one back.

"Hello Nurse Emma, how is he today?" Usually Emma would deliver the same response, "The same," but today she grinned, it made Erin's heart race and hope spread through her.

"Well I was going to let Doctor Reese tell you but," she leaned over the reception desk. "They are taking him off the ventilator today, said he is breathing over it, he is quite the fighter." Relief overcame Erin and a smile passed her lips.

"You mean it," She asked not wanting it to be some sick joke.

"Yes, go see for yourself." Erin ran to the window and looked through and cried tears of joy when she saw Jay, his chest rose and fell but this time without the assistance of a machine.

"He is making great strides toward a recovery," A voice behind her said.

"What about his carotid?" She asked as she turned to the doctor.

"Well that is going well too, honestly he is the first that I have seen recover from this, we were positive he wasn't going to make it but he is defying the odds."

"He is a fighter, always has been." She said as she turned her attention back to Jay, he was still pale but he looked better than before.

"Yes he is, I expect that he could be taken out of isolation soon, we will monitor him for now but he seems to be doing well, better than we have obviously expected."

"That is great to hear, that is Jay for you, thank you so much doctor."

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I am cutting this one a little shorter because I am tired and I need to go to bed because I work early. I really wanted to update for you all because I had a lot of feedback. Jay is getting better, yayyyy but this journey is far from over and I cannot wait to post a new chapter. Review, I love your comments. Goodnight, love Layna.


	8. A Decision

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday, I am sorry that this took so long, I am trying to get back into writing more frequently but work is getting in the way. Hope you like this chapter, read and review.

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It was not until now that she was beginning to go through Jay withdraws something that she had never thought possible. She missed his smile, the one that got her through the toughest of times, the one that told her that everything was going to be just fine. She missed his laugh; it was so contagious and had been known to make even the stoic Hank Voight laugh. She missed his whining, he would always whined when she wouldn't let him drive or when she wouldn't let him take lead, this was of course in a joking sense but she could see that he had some truth behind it. She could just picture him now talking to her in the car about how emasculating it was; those bright blue eyes shining with his wide smile, the look that melted her.

She shook that thought off; she could not believe she was thinking of him like that, though it had never strayed from either of their minds. She knew there was always going to be a hint of tension between them because there could be something there but in honestly she could not help but think that she was only like this because she was close to losing him. Maybe not though, she found it hard not to think of a time where she thought about the two of them, the only problem that was in the way was the job, it was important to both of them. Now more than ever she was terrified of the thought of not having Jay be by her side.

Do not get her wrong, Antonio was a great partner, he would always have her back and be there to make sure that things went over smoothly but he was no Jay. He did not get her jokes and the inside ones that Jay and her had that she was so used to hearing daily were missing. She missed the playful teasing but most of all, she missed his voice. It had been two weeks of hell, she missed that soft soothing but tough voice that her partner had. While she was thinking of it her hands started working, a mind of their own and they took out her phone. In an instant she found the phone on speaker and ringing, it rang five times before it hit his voicemail.

"Hey, you've reached Jay Halstead; leave your message after the beep." It was short but it was enough to get her dose, the lump formed in her throat as she clicked end on her phone and brought it close to her chest. Her heart ached as the tears fell, she could not deny it any longer, she loved Jay but because of her attitude issue, she had gotten him nearly killed.

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It was the oddest sensation in the world, working a case without him but more so, working with his partner. It made it seem like this was going to be a forever thing and no one wanted that, still Antonio just had the weirdest of feelings. He looked to Erin who was sitting quietly in the passenger seat, she stared out the idly. He had only been back three days but Antonio knew that Erin was going to be distant.

It was a Tuesday, a new case had risen up and Voight had chosen Antonio to be Erin's partner, it was a tough case to crack but they were so close but he would be lying if he were to say that their minds were not on Jay. Antonio had a lot of guilt on his mind; he knew he should not because he did not do this but he just could not shake it.

"Lindsay, you ready?" He watched her as she contemplated his question, she just seemed like she would never smile again.

"Yeah," She said, not taking her eyes away from the window, she traced the icy twirls on the glass.

"Hey," He called getting her to look at him. "You told me, he is getting better." She gave him a weak smile and nodded before returning her gaze out the window. He let out a sigh, he was not sure he wanted to share with her this but he knew that if anyone would understand it was her, "I blame myself." She shot him a look of deep concern, as if he was crazy for even thinking remotely close to blaming himself.

"Antonio, you didn't stab him, how could you possibly blame yourself?"

"I just keep going over it in my head wondering what would have happened if I had called instead of him, he would be knocked out, or what would have happened if we would have just waited for back up before confronting her." He stared at the road ahead of him running through the scenarios once again, he had not been able to stop them play like clips of a film.

"That's the thing about 'what ifs' you can run through them until you go crazy but there is no turning back, the past is permanent, the only thing you will do to yourself is cause more damage." He looked to her waiting for her response; she looked on the verge of tears.

"I do that too though, like what would have happened if I wasn't such a jerk, than I would have been there and you wouldn't have gotten hurt, I know I can't change what I said or how I acted but I'm afraid that I won't ever be able to tell him I'm sorry."

"You will, and besides you know Halstead, he knows that you and him are close, he knows that you love him Erin," They way Antonio said, "Love him," indicated that he knew what was really going on in her head. She smiled at him, she wanted so badly to confine in someone that she was hurting like crazy inside, that she missed Jay that she had called Jay's phone 16 times just to hear his voice but it stayed inside until the end of shift.

"Antonio," Erin had one question she was not quite sure she should ask but at the same time, she needed to know. He looked at her ready for the question and his face looked like he already knew what she was going to ask. "Do you remember it?" He was silent for a minute as he thought his answer through.

"Honestly, I don't remember much, I remember that I was going to talk to her but after that it is blank, the most recent thing I remember is you telling me about Jay, and in the first time since my son was kidnapped, I was terrified."

"Finding you guys was awful." She did not mean to let it slip, it just did because it was the truth and Erin had a hard time holding back.

"Voight told me, I don't know what I would have done if it would have been you and Jay."

"I just, I have never seen someone that I care so much for lose so much blood and then the other day…"

"He almost died again and I understand this is exhausting carrying the worry on your shoulders."

"It really is," She said as a lump rose up in her throat.

"Just know you don't have to do it alone."

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She skipped having drinks lately with the team but she knew that they were only asking to try to get her to go out, a sweet gesture but she was not up for it. Instead, she found herself in Jay's hospital room; he was in the ICU now, still showing no signs of waking up from this coma. She sat next to him mostly quietly reading some magazine but not today, no she just sat with him and talked. Talked about anything and everything, she talked about the case the team just solved, about how there was an embarrassing drunk man, who tried to fight Antonio who took him down, she talked to him because she wanted him to know she was there.

Was she being Naïve in believing that he was actually going to wake up just because he heard her voice? She had been in the hospital room with him every day for the past three weeks. She knew that he was still inside there, just fighting to get out but he was weak and as bad as that thought hurt her, she knew it to be true. She had talked to Doctor Lang, the man who took over for the last doctor had told her all about the loss of blood leading him to being as weak he is.

She was not going to pretend as if she knew what they were saying, but she did know this, they said he was a fighter and she had known that all along. He may be weak but he had gone through hell. She watched his chest rise and fall, a beep from his vital showing her that his heart was growing stronger, that he was still there. She smiled at him, she knew that he was not a quitter, never had been but she still couldn't help but think of the possibility that he wouldn't get better.

"Jay, I was so stupid," She felt the tears roll down her cheek; she let out a scoff as she wiped them with the back of her hand. "There, you got me to admit I was wrong about something." A small smile appeared on her lips but disappeared as she looked back at Jay and felt the pang in her heart. How could she differentiate these feelings, was she just thinking like this because she might lose him or was it because after working with him every day for so long she had gotten accustom to him. This question was going to haunt her, she had seen him battle it too but she had given her answer.

"Jay, I am sorry I was such a bitch the other day, I keep going over it in my head and Antonio has told me I shouldn't but I can't help it. I feel like because I pushed you away I caused you and Antonio to be partnered, I am not saying I would have done anything different but maybe Dawson and Voight would have found it out sooner… I don't know, I just can't shake the feeling this is my fault." Her voice shook with the wave of tears that fell; she was not going to be able to make peace with this. "I don't even know what happened, really Maria didn't say, she is just sitting pretty on the truth, like she is invincible if she doesn't say anything to us."

"Maybe you should talk to her?" The voice startled her; she had not even realized he had been standing there.

"How long have you been there?" She asked Hank as he walked in and sat in the chair next to her.

"Enough time to be able to tell you to stop blaming yourself, Erin you didn't stab him, Dawson and Halstead went in blind, they didn't know she was crazy, none of us did."

"And how is me going to see that bitch going to help?"

"She is the cause, you need to see that she is diabolical, she was ruthless and didn't care who it was that walked through that door with her, she was going to escape and take down anyone in the way."

"Where is she?"

"MCC, she has been put in solitary, guess she got in a fight but she should be out within the next few days, if you want I can go with you."

"No, I think I have to do this alone." Hank nodded and stood from his chair, he placed a hand on Jay's shoulder and said goodbye before he turned to Erin and kissed the top of her head. "Hey, I know you are sick of everyone saying it but he is going to be okay, and so are you." She gave a weak smile and nodded, watching him as he left, "You hear that Halstead, Voight said you are going to be okay and you know better than to let him down." The heart monitor beeped in response, or that is what Erin hoped it was for.


	9. Fear is real

Erin took a deep breath, she was not sure if she was ready for this, her stomach churned as she stepped the security guards searched her. She was about the one woman who was making her world crumble. She knew this had to happen and she knew that this may help her get closure over this case but she was not sure she was going to be able face Maria, the woman did in fact trick her and cause and act that made the intelligence team think she was a victim.

"Ma'am, you are set," The officer said motioning for the next person to step forward, Erin collected her shoes and handed over her badge and wallet before moving forward, another officer moved her into the visitation room. She took a seat close to the exit somehow, she felt like she needed to be there for a close escape. She sat for a minute before she saw a guard walk Maria in, she wasn't aware that it was Erin who was visiting so when she saw the detective a crude smile slipped on her face.

"Detective Lindsay, what a surprise, how are Detectives Halstead and Dawson," a sinister laugh.

"Alive, how is jail?"

"Oh you know a free meal and a place to sleep and all the girls think I'm the queen for attacking two cops, for killing one."

"Is that what you are telling them?"

"Well I mean I have killed enough to know."

"Well unfortunately for you detective Halstead and Dawson are still kicking, and actually Dawson has been gone home."

"Oh so I am to assume Halstead is still in the hospital after three weeks and he is just fine," She looked at Erin who didn't say a word. "Ahh, that's what I thought."

"He is getting better every day and there is no doubt in my mind that he will wake up because he isn't going to let some low life like you win." The smile slipped off Maria's face.

"Why are you even here?"

"I needed to know why, I mean I read the case reports but I mean she was your sister, and there has to be more?"

"My parents always loved Rosalyn more, it was so obvious; I was so sick of it! When She told me she loved the guy that I liked I was pissed obviously but then he said he was leaving with her I couldn't stand it, I knew they were going to take half my business so I beat them to the punch."

"You are nothing but a ruthless psychopath, and you lost you may be comfy here but you aren't ever going to see the light of day and I am happy that I put you away." Erin got up and motioned to the guard, she may not have had gotten the closure she was looking for but to see her behind bars was going to work.

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"Morning Erin," one of the regular nurses on Jay's floor greeted her with a smile.

"How is he doing today," Erin, asked her, pulling her bag up a little bit farther up on her shoulder.

"A little better, like we always say, he is a fighter but I don't have to tell you that." Erin smiled, she knew how Jay was, that was the thing that kept her going and believing and now with her conscience clear she was ready to focus on his recovery, she even told Antonio to go, she knew he had been in the same mental place as her.

She walked into Jay's room; the blinds were open and even with the freezing weather the sun was shining casting beautiful golden rays of warmth on Jay. She smiled and sat next to him, looking at his wounds, a scar had formed but it was better. She looked out around the room, a dozen roses sat on a side table from Platt, she may be a hard ass but she had her soft side and she obviously loved Jay. A few balloons from the team and even another arrangement from Voight who had since given up on telling Erin to stop sitting by his bed side every night.

"Come on Jay, I'm missing my favorite smartass," She took his hand and gave it a squeeze, her phone buzzed and with her free hand she answered it. "Hello Hank," She said, she knew that the check up was going to happen it was inevitable.

"Erin, hey listen Justin is here and he wants to know if you want to come to dinner."

"Justin or you," She asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Okay me, but Justin and Olive will be here."

"Okay well I can't tonight actually I am going to Molly's with Dawson and Ruzek."

"Okay well make sure you go," he said in his worried father voice, she was basically his daughter since she was a teen and he wouldn't deny it."

"I will now tell Olive and Justin I will have dinner with them this weekend." She felt a squeeze to her hand and for a minute she didn't think anything of it but she was then it happened again and her heart skipped a beat. "Voight I'll call you back," She hung up the phone and jumped from her chair running her free hand through Jay's hair.

"Jay," She said his name and she could feel it tremor on her lips, his eyes did not open but he did squeeze lightly.

"Emma," She yelled out to the nurse who ran in no sooner than two seconds.

"What is it Erin?" She asked out of breath.

"He squeezed my hand," She said in excitement but the anxiety was building as Jay still kept his eyes closed.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes, he squeezed my hand three times, I think he is waking up," Emma rushed to his side and checked his vitals all looked good.

"I am going to go get a doctor."

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Jay did not open his eyes that day, in fact, he did not wake up the next day either and he had not squeezed her hand again. She began to think she was going crazy and just imagining it but on the third day he opened his baby blue eyes and it made Erin's heart fluttered, she was overwhelmed with excitement but it did not last.

When he woke up he looked lost and confused, he did not speak, and all of this worried her. Jay was this man who had gone through so much, war and home on the streets so now here we was so lost and looking so out of it that it broke her heart, what was going on. She spoke to the doctor and they said it might have been the amount of blood loss and the cut of the blood flow to his brain, so was there damage? All the questions raced through her mind and as the doctors tested him, she stood outside the room looking in on this lost stranger hoping that her friend would come back or better yet if the man she knew to be her best friend would remember.

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Short but I wanted to give you all something to tide you over, you have all been so amazing , hope you enjoy. Review for me ~love Layna


	10. Coping with Change

Erin sighed as she sat beside Jay's bed as he yet again had begun his yelling match with her. She knew he was not made at her, he was frustrated and mad at the fact that his brain had failed him yet again on remembering the most simplest of words. The doctors said that his brain damage was not bound to last long but still Jay was becoming more and more aggravated with the loss of being able to speak a full sentence without missing a word.

"Jay, this is going to be better soon," She tried to assure him as she picked up the side tray that he had hit over in his fit of rage.

"No, I am so….so, gahh!" His face beet red with anger she could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

"You aren't so anything Jay, you went through something that has left you with a problem that will be corrected."

"I can't even think of what I want to say, I can't even… can't even umm," She looked at him sympathetically.

"Remember," she offered him.

"Yes, that, I can't even remember words that are so easy!" She reached her hand to his but he just yanked it away she knew he did not want the sympathy card played and no one was trying to but that is the way he saw it and this was making him shut people out, meaning the team.

"Jay the doctors said that this isn't going to last forever, it was just because you had blood loss that affected the temporal lobe of your brain."

"I know what he said Er, I am just…. I'm just," He looked so sad when he was trying to figure out what he wanted to say and occasionally he would look at her in a pleading way to help him out like now.

"Frustrated," He nodded as he pressed himself into his bed. "Jay you know that you have the biggest support team here but you have to stop kicking them out, I know you are angry and I know you are having a tough time but you are pushing them away when all they want to do is help you."

"I know but they give me those looks and I can't help but feel…"

"Feel what Jay," She knew that making him push for the words made him a little more frustrated but he had to at least try, it would help him. He looked at her a little annoyed that she asked because he knew that she knew he did not have the word, he could picture his feeling but he couldn't think of how to say it.

"I'm…" He looked down at his hands as he gripped tightly at his blankets, "I'm broken."

"Not broken, Jay you are just hurt and it will get better."

"Yeah but when," he demanded even though he knew she did not know.

"The doctors aren't sure but they knew that it will happen, don't be so quick to wither away the hope, Jay you have come this far and I know you can keep going." Jay did not respond he just looked down and she knew he was battling himself, kicking himself for acting out and she wished he didn't.

"Listen Jay, I think you just need some rest, I'll come back tomorrow after work, until them please stop beating yourself about this." He did not even look up and she sighed as she turned and walked out.

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"How is he today?" Antonio greeted her, he was anxious about Jay's condition like she was.

"The same, frustrated and upset about it all, I told him that this is temporary but he just says he is broken."

"I know he said that to me yesterday." Antonio was the only other person who had forced his way in with Jay, he wasn't going to give up on him. It was not that the rest of the team had at all, they all supported him and would ask about him but they also knew that all being there overwhelmed him and only made it a little worse. Antonio and Erin had gone almost every day to see Jay, it was a long process but they knew he needed them.

"I'm going after work tonight; I think I'll bring some of his favorite food from Granger's maybe that will cheer him up." Antonio smiled.

"If you sneak that past Mira that will be a Miracle," Erin joked.

"That broad doesn't scare me," Erin folded her arms and raised her eyebrow, "Okay maybe a little."

"That's what I thought," They laughed, it was really the first time in a while but it felt good.

"Come on, Voight will have our asses if we are late."

"Speak for yourself, he loves me," She said giving a childish grin before running up the stairs.

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"Hello Detective Halstead, how are we feeling today?" Nurse Emma asked as she walked in the room, pulling her stethoscope from her neck. She gave a side-glance too him as she waited for an answer that was not going to come, she placed the cold metal bit on his chest and listened to him breathing.

"You know you're lucky to have such a great team, they must be basically your family or so Detective Dawson says."

"Yeah," Jay replied a little too much attitude. Emma sighed and put her stethoscope back around her neck, moving to his side and picked up his arm feeling his pulse.

"Detective, this will get better," He scoffed at her words and she knew why. "I know you have heard that about a million times and I know that it isn't making it any better. The process will be a long one and you can't do it alone, you have this family that is here for you, fighting for you, so let them help."

"I know, I'm just feeling so… useless and it's hard to… hard to umm…"

"Adjust, I understand but this isn't forever, you are strong and I don't think you understand how many times that Erin or Antonio or even Hank have told me that, but they were here and they told me that you are a fighter that you don't give up, do you?" Jay gave a small smile and shook his head, he was touched that the team had been there for him, they were supporting him but here he was feeling sorry for himself. Emma smiled at him as she scribbled down the last of his vitals, he knew he had to stop paying the martyr and start being the old Jay.

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I know this one is short as well but I wanted to update please review Love Layna


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